Feminists hate misogyny, not men. Kinda like that “hate the sin, not the sinner” thing, sometimes it’s easy to separate the behaviour from the enactor and sometimes it’s not.
But we know that not all men are pits of misogyny, so if you aren’t acting out misogyny, then it’s not about you. We also know that men who sometimes fall into minor unthinking habits of misogyny are not comparable to men who are violent and irredeemable misogynists. It’s understandable how sometimes criticisms of misogynists come across as generalisations about all men, when read by someone who isn’t used to the jargon shorthand and feminist perspectives. Time to lurk and learn.
Ilyka’s post: Occasionally conversations with my man are instructive is instructive here.
“A lot of the guys written about on feminist blogs do things I would never do.”"Then don’t identify with them. It’s not about you! You stand to pee, they stand to pee, beyond that, what’s the commonality?”
Of course, the man-hating accusation is not always made by bewildered men of general goodwill. It is frequently made by men who simply don’t want to hear any criticism of their privileged status-quo.
- FAQ: Isn’t “the Patriarchy” just some conspiracy theory that blames all men, even decent men, for women’s woes?
- FAQ: Aren’t feminists just sexists towards men?
- FAQ: Can men be feminists?
- FAQ: Aren’t feminists all lesbian man-haters?
- On how stereotypes are insulting to men:
This is how Sam describes your average single man: “messy, greedy, sports-loving, junk-food-scoffing and as womanizing”. Presumably a relationship somehow transforms Homo Singlemanus into a tidy, selfless gourmet who only watches sport sometimes, tosses a mean salad and only has eyes for you.
Seriously, my dear male readers, aren’t you sick of this rubbish? Don’t you get pissed off every time you turn on the TV and there you are, being presented as some idiot who needs a woman to work any domestic appliance in the home? Aren’t you over the idea that you need to be tidied up and polished by the love of a good woman?
- On conflating “man-hating” with standing up for oneself against men/a man:
But every time we point out the disparity, the inequality, and yes, the personally & publicly horrifying things that men do, we are man-haters. It can’t possibly be that we are offended & disappointed by the male refusal to accept the responsibility which comes with power; we must simply hate them.