Call for submissions: sexual violence survivor stories/poetry/artwork etc

From the Souls Speak Out “About” page:

Soulspeakout.org was born out of the need for a safe space for survivors to tell their stories. Our original intent was to start a zine to distribute at local women’s shelters and support centers. However, this site has the potential to reach many more. We hope that you are able to use it as a safe space to reach out to other survivors or just have your voice heard.

This space is designed to be a healing, empowering and inspiring space for survivors of all ages, genders, sexualities, abilities, nationalities, cultural and social identities.

Feel free to contact us at any time as you explore and make this space your own.

Best wishes to Elisha, Maria, and Stefana as they build this safe space.  They’ve already made a strong start with their Resources page, so check them out and maybe submit your survivor story, if you feel it would help you or others to have it shared.

FAQ: What is “slut-shaming”?

Short answer: Slut-shaming, also known as slut-bashing, is the idea of shaming and/or attacking a woman or a girl for being sexual, having one or more sexual partners, acknowledging sexual feelings, and/or acting on sexual feelings. Furthermore, it’s “about the implication that if a woman has sex that traditional society disapproves of, she should feel guilty and inferior” (Alon Levy, Slut Shaming). It is damaging not only to the girls and women targeted, but to women in general an society as a whole. It should be noted that slut-shaming can occur even if the term “slut” itself is not used.

Feminists Have Free Speech Too: Action Alert I

I’ve labelled this post as (I) because my spidey-sense tells me that this will become a series.

Here you go: [link]. Tell this cartoonist what you think of jokes about his comic’s protagonist drooling about raping disabled homeless women because “it’s hard to keep your legs closed if you don’t have any”. Hey, having no doors to put locks on makes her an easy victim as well!

The cartoonist thinks sarcasm justifies all (edited to add – so complaining to the editor about approving the cartoon for publication is probably the most effective avenue).

H/T via email.

Friday Links Roundup

Some stories which this week:

Broadsheet: Breaking the mirrored ceiling

A new report by the Fawcett Society, a women’s rights organization, tackles the usual corporate culprits: the glass ceiling, the wage gap and sexual harassment. But it adds a lesser-heard complaint to the list: London’s corporate strip club culture.

In London, lap dances and stripteases have apparently become an “increasingly normal way of entertaining business clients.” Female employees are simply left out of such strip club summits or must do their best to be taken seriously amid a roomful of naked, gyrating women.

The Fawcett Society report referred to above: “Sexism and the City.”

What is this “protection” of which you speak?

“Sexual assaults are frequent, and frequently ignored, in the armed services.” I have this insane urge to email Rep. Jane Harman (D-CA)and say “Duh!” This is old old news, but every few years someone rediscovers the reality that rapists join the military and we get a bunch of op-eds and exhortations for the military to do more to protect women.

FAQ: if women like sex just as much as men do, then why is rape so bad? It’s just rougher sex, right?

AKA: Women like it, really! They say they don’t, but they do!

A: I’m not joking, some people still do use this argument. Even if most of them are just trolls looking to stir up outrage, this trope is still out there needing some debunking.

Potential PTSD Trigger Warning

OK, let’s go through this step by step:

• Imagine your favourite dessert. You know, the one you almost always end up ordering at a restaurant even though you’ve had it heaps of times before. That one dessert of which you always want second or even third servings. The one you ask friends and family to make for your birthday.
• Really imagine it. The taste of it. The feel of it on your lips and tongue and sliding down your throat. The lingering aftertaste. How much you’ll enjoy it the next time you have a chance to eat some.
• Imagine the surroundings. Are you alone, savouring it all to yourself? Are you with friends, all enjoying sharing this delectable dessert? Are you in a lovely cafe or restaurant, enjoying the ambience and the service, and the accompanying coffee or liqueur?
• Imagine how many servings you are going to have this time. Will you eat it fast or slow? Will you eat it all, or take some home with you for later?
• NOW imagine someone forcing you to eat your favourite dessert. It’s not a joke. You can’t get away. They are too strong for you, and they are kneeling across your chest and pinning your arms. Maybe they have threatened you with a weapon to get you to this place, or perhaps tricked you with an offer of your favourite dessert and then overpowered you once they got you alone.
• Imagine that they are not just offering you your favourite dessert in any way that you can control how you bite it, chew it and swallow it. This person is shoving your favourite dessert down your throat. With a stick.

Feminism Friday: Popularity of long-debunked rape myths: talk about disheartening

Originally posted at Hoyden About Town

The top link offered to me on Stumble-Upon for Women’s Issues is this: Through a Rapists Eyes, a page on a rape-prevention site. Unfortunately, they are propagating misinformation, pure and simple.

Some of you may recognise the opening paragraphs as one of those emails that gets forwarded around the place. This one has been on the go since 2000, forwarded eagerly on and on by those concerned about how to appear less vulnerable/appealing to stranger rapists. However, it is dangerously misleading (not least in never mentioning that fewer than 1in 5 rapes are actually committed by strangers – by far the majority of rapes of women are committed by men they know who rape opportunistically when they are alone together and later claim that the sex was consensual).

Below are some excerpts from the quoted email (the most egregiously wrong), and a summary from me below each point of the actual facts as laid out by the meticulous Barbara Mikkelson of Snopes’ Urban Legend Reference Pages.

A group of rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim, and here are some interesting facts:

1. The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

[fact: this claim is totally unsupported by any studies known to law enforcement - women with all hair lengths, including short hair, and all ages and body types, are raped in seemingly equal proportions]

2. The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors to cut clothing.

[fact: rapists are often/usually more interested in terrorising and harming women than they are in obtaining sex quickly, so clothing is not a major factor in victim choice]

Feminism Friday: two posts from Jill at Feministe on rape myths vs statistics

Both of these were written in response to an op-ed in the LA Times by Heather MacDonald.

Post 1: It’s Only A Myth If You Believe That Those Sluts Were Asking For It

This op/ed is one of the most ridiculous I’ve read in a long, long time (and that’s pretty impressive). Heather MacDonald argues that high rates of sexual assault on campus don’t exist because women don’t always define their experiences as rape; she then goes on to say that women who say they were raped are lying sluts who exaggerate the truth and were probably asking for it.

Jill’s evisceration of this op-ed is a joy to read, and then she gets on to the larger feminist points:

At first glance, it seems strange that MacDonald would simultaneously attack what she thinks is a hyped campus rape crisis and sex education on campuses. But it’s quite deliberate, and very telling. Anti-rape activism and sex-positive sexual health education are two sides to the same coin: They both challenge the dominant narrative that women’s bodies aren’t our own; they insist that sex is about consent and enjoyment, not violence and harm; and they attack a power structure that sees women as victims and men as predators. Anti-rape activists and sex-positive educators insist that men are not animals. Instead, men are rational human beings fully capable of listening to their partners and understanding that sex isn’t about pushing someone to do something they don’t want to; plenty of men are able to grasp the idea that sex should be entered into joyfully and enthusiastically by both partners, and that an absence of “no” isn’t enough — “yes” should be the baseline requirement.

Obviously, moving from the traditional “consent” standard of non-dissent to a new standard of affirmative assent still won’t end rape altogether: