Feed the FAQ: the policing of women’s sexuality and double standards

Crowd-sourcing time! From KellyK in the Suggestions thread:

Can you add “slut-shaming” and/or “mother/whore dichotomy” to Clarifying Concepts? A classmate of mine posted something I found mildly offensive and I’m having trouble elucidating why it strikes me as sexist, and would really like something to point him to when he inevitably asks what I’m being so critical of. (We’re reading The Economics of Attention and he’s arguing that the author favors attention itself over substance–using whores and mothers as a metaphor for this, complete with the tropes of “whore=deceptive”, “mother=wholesome.”)

There’s a lot to unpack in this, and I’d appreciate some input on how best to start. Please share links to relevant posts that analyse/explain how slut-shaming etc attitudes work to constrain and otherwise harm women, and feel free to share your own thoughts as well. Then I can use your input and provided links to write up an FAQ.

FAQ: vagina vs vulva and public “faces of feminism”

Q: A celebrity feminist said something about the incorrect usage of vagina vs vulva and I want you to explain every nuance of her thoughts to me and why feminism thinks that way.

A: “Feminism” doesn’t necessarily think that way just because that celebrity feminist does.
Possibly there is controversy about her opinion.
Possibly her opinion is highly unpopular.
Also, just a thought, possibly she didn’t actually say quite what you think she said?

This same sort of “justify feminism’s opinion on this” request gets made all the time based on the media asking celebrity feminists to opine on various matters, but the vulva/vagina distinction is a golden oldie, so why not let it be the model?

OK, let’s start with some anatomy revision.

Press Release from Equality Now

Remember the RapeLay video game, written about by Melissa and Cara back in February? Equality Now has been working to persuade Japan to uphold its obligations under UN conventions with respect to material that normalises and/or promotes violence against women and girls.

EQUALITY NOW CALLS ON NEW JAPANESE ADMINISTRATION TO BAN ALL GAMES THAT PROMOTE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS

JAPAN MUST FULFILL ITS OBLIGATIONS UNDER THE UN WOMEN’S CONVENTION BY IMPLEMENTING RECENT RECOMMENDATIONS OF THE CEDAW COMMITTEE

Equality Now calls on the Democratic Party of Japan (DPJ), the country’s newly-elected administration recently sworn into office, to ban all games that normalize and promote violence against women and girls. During a recent review of Japan’s compliance with its obligations under the UN’s Women’s Convention (CEDAW), the CEDAW Committee strongly urged Japan “to ban the sale of video games or cartoons involving rape and sexual violence against women which normalize and promote sexual violence against women and girls.”

This follows wide public debate including about computer games produced in Japan such as RapeLay in which players simulate the rape and sexual abuse of women and girls. Equality Now launched a global campaign in May 2009 targeting corporations involved in the production and sale of such games, known as hentai, as well as the then ruling party of Japan. Post-elections,
Equality Now’s campaign will continue to pressure the corporations as well as urging the new DPJ administration to comply with its international obligations.

On the Mommy and Daddy Binary

[this post was originally posted on Shakesville with the title Mommy v. Daddy ]

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Via Media Matters, I find this gendered analysis of Tuesday’s debate in the LA Times:

The late conservative economist Jude Wanniski once dubbed Republicans the “Daddy Party” and Democrats the “Mommy Party.” On Tuesday, Obama seemed to prove his point by laying out the more expansive government role in caring for middle-class Americans. And he mentioned not only his mother, but his wife and grandmother too.

First, let’s talk about how this is insulting to men, via its implicit contention that men don’t care for other people, and, quite specifically, if one takes this tired metaphor to its logical conclusion, that fathers don’t care for their children. Men are there to provide and discipline; women are there to care. This lie is the foundation for every damnable binary about sex and emotion in our culture—men are rational; woman are emotional—and it is on what we’ve based our pernicious refusal to regard the most destructive versions of emotions like anger, jealousy, possessiveness, vengeance, apathy, and selfishness as not emotions at all, but merely biological evidence of strength, as long as they emanate from men.

On Gendered Language

[this post was originally posted on Shakesville with the title I Write Letters ]

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Dear English-Speaking World:

Pursuant to yesterday’s letter regarding the cessation of your use of the terms “man’s man” and “ladies’ man,” I would also like to request that you jettison the following from your vocabularies: “He’s all boy” and “She’s all girl.”

These terms are used to refer to children, anywhere from infancy to about 10 years of age, who are regarded as conforming nicely to the sex- and gender stereotypes prescribed by The Patriarchy^TM. Sometimes, their use is only as pernicious as reinforcing an exclusionary narrative like all male humans like sports or all female humans like fashion.

On The Feminine as an insult

[this post was originally posted on Shakesville with the title Seriously, Learn To Equality ]

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In an uncanny timeliness, given today’s discussion thread, I got an email earlier from Shaker PatC, who provided last night’s QotD. Quoted with permission:

Thank you so much for using that as the QOTD! I’m so excited to have been quoted as “her”! I’m working on a paper on 18thC sexuality right now and so gender bending is topical for me (full disclosure, I am biologically and identify as a man). Regardless, thanks for using my idea. Shakesville kicks ass.

Cheers,
PatC

I had no reason at all to assume PatC was a woman, and I’m frankly not sure why I did; I’ve had female and male friends called Pat, and my email correspondents collectively skew slightly more male. So big wev to me: lol my gender assumptions.

What was more interesting to me was my reaction to PatC’s email: I was surprised, relieved, and grateful that he wasn’t insulted by having been presumed a woman.

And it was sad to me that I found it notable when his response wasn’t aggrieved.

Feminists Have Free Speech Too: Action Alert I

I’ve labelled this post as (I) because my spidey-sense tells me that this will become a series.

Here you go: [link]. Tell this cartoonist what you think of jokes about his comic’s protagonist drooling about raping disabled homeless women because “it’s hard to keep your legs closed if you don’t have any”. Hey, having no doors to put locks on makes her an easy victim as well!

The cartoonist thinks sarcasm justifies all (edited to add – so complaining to the editor about approving the cartoon for publication is probably the most effective avenue).

H/T via email.